Abraham Lincoln

The most honest man ever.  INCLUDING Bill Clinton.

Abraham Lincoln gets to be on pennies because he was honest.  I gotta ask though, what's with George Washington?  He goes around doing bad stuff like chopping down cherry trees and THEN confesses that he did it.  That ain't honesty, that is CRIME.

Most people consider Lincoln to be the best President.  Why then did they put him on the FIVE dollar bill exactly?  He should be on the most expensive one, whatever it is.  Like how the $500 bill in Monopoly gets to be orange because it's the coolest color.

Did Abe Lincoln EVER do anything bad?  He lived in a log cabin in the WOODS, anything could happen out there.  I bet at least once he secretly chopped down a chestnut tree and then hogged all the chestnuts for himself.

Where did he get the lumber for those log cabins?  Were the original Lincoln Logs THIEVED?

Since he is on the penny (every single ONE, if you don't believe me go check besides Canada), somebody should build a miniature log cabin out of actual penny rolls.  a tiny little spider named "John Wilkes Booth" could live in it for awhile, and then one day, out of nowhere, you suddenly squish him for therapeutic revenge.

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