James K. Polk

(He required himself to use the "K" to distinguish himself, as President, from all other noteworthy James Polks.)

Polk (yes THAT Polk) is generally regarded as a great President.  He was real good at invading and annexing, back when those were necessary things to do.  In modern times, most things have already been successfully invaded or annexed.  (Exception:  the "Northwest Territories" from the board game "RISK." People still don't know what that is.)

Polk's nickname was the "Napoleon of the Stump."  Seriously.

I am a very nice person so I generally don't go around nicknaming people but if I were to ever do so it would NOT be THAT.  APPARENTLY as a pre-Presidential version of James K. Polk he had to stand on a tree stump in order to be tall enough to get people's attention.  Platforms and stages had not been invented yet. That came later, mainly during the Lincoln era.  (As if THAT guy needed to be taller.)

This is unconfirmed, including by me, but James K. Polk was apparently the first President that tried to officially ban "nicknames."  He failed, at that.

What he DID succeed at was expanding the dimensions of the United States of America.  More space.  He obviously could not do it ALL himself but he did that thing, for all of us, where you get to move from a real shitty apartment into a way better apartment that at least has windows and a balcony.

James K. Polk, upon becoming President, vowed to serve only one term.  He successfully accomplished all of his Presidential goals during that term.  True to his word, he did not seek re-election, and then died shortly thereafter.

Goodbye James K. Polk, forever.


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