Thursday, August 22, 2013

Andrew Jackson




Andrew Jackson was perhaps the most EXCITING President.  He was the first President that someone attempted to assassinate.  an unemployed British housepainter fired two different pistols at him, both of which misfired, so Andrew Jackson survived.  Most historians believe that the guns did not fire correctly because there was too much humidity in the air.  Guns were not as reliable to use in Andrew Jackson times, they were not built as well.  a much smaller group of historians simply blame it on the would-be assassin being British, but I think that is probably just a case of historians liking to kid around in their own private way.

The two misfirings were consecutive, by which I mean that the assassin had both pistols on him at once.  He did not have to turn around and run home real quick to get a different gun after the first one didn't work.  So it might have been a good idea to bring along a third or even FOURTH gun if he was having doubts going into the situation, but I guess he could only afford two.  He was unemployed, after all.

But even before someone tried to KILL him, Andrew Jackson was also the first President to get punched.  an officer that he had fired from the Navy for EMBEZZLING (see how exciting all of this is?) snuck up and sucker-punched him while he was on his way to a ceremony to honor George Washington's late MOTHER.  Members of President Jackson's entourage then chased the assailant away.  So wow, what a bad person.  He got kicked out of the Navy for stealing, stalked and punched the President, did not care about George Washington's mother at all, and then just ran away.

Andrew Jackson did not press charges, which is sort of weird because he was very fond of DUELS.  and he was good at duels.  He killed people!  and THEN became President.  Imagine that nowadays.  His nickname was "Old Hickory" because he was known for his toughness, and hickory is one of the toughest woods.

Jackson is famous for eliminating the National Bank.  He thought banks were evil and untrustworthy and also that the lines were too long.  So banks became private after that, and remain so to this day.  You can go to any bank you want, as long as you have money.

Andrew Jackson did not win his first bid for the Presidency.  He lost to John Quincy Adams, but it was kind of corrupt, so 4 years later he came back for revenge and won by a landslide.  He and Adams were fairly bitter enemies.  In an early example of political scandal, Jackson's detractors made public the fact that his wife was a bigamist.  Now I know you're probably saying "OH BIG DEAL," but scandals like that were taken very seriously up until Clinton.  His enemies also called him a "jack-ass" a lot, possibly because his name was "Jack-son," or it might have just been an insult in general.  But as tough as he was, inside and out, Old Hickory decided he LIKED the term "jackass" and that is why it remains a symbol used by the Democratic Party to this day.  If you don't believe me, look it up.  Somewhere besides here, I mean.

In summary, even though he was constantly infuriating people, Andrew Jackson still accomplished a LOT, paving the way for future Presidents and other politicians that had to persevere in spite of constantly getting picked on and/or shot at.  The guy was money, especially the $20 bill type of money.


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